wearing glasses

Last night I remembered my friend Helsi telling me many times that I should wear my glasses in public in order to feel more comfortable and confident.

I wonder what the purpose is of making this post. Maybe even saying, remembering and describing these moments is only adding to the impact of them. And I guess its not very pleasant for others to read. But I'll post this anyways, maybe just to have a note of what is happening and to see what the result is of saying this publicly. I wrote a version of this story to my friend Roc this morning and then immediately felt badly for doing so as it would maybe just make him worry or be sad. This wasn't my plan, especially since it's not going to help the situation at all.

Last night I went to yoga and I was really tired during the whole class. Then I went to meet Andrew who is visiting me, because we only have one key for the house and he was waiting for me at a nearby fountain. When I got there, 10 minutes late, I didn't see him and I felt soso tired. I couldn't see well in the dark and when I thought about walking around the park to look for him on the benches, I was about to cry. I didn't want to be there at all or to look around at anyone. I just wanted to go in the house.

Without reason I just walked away and walked around for almost an hour. I knew I should walk back to the fountain and meet him, because he was kindly waiting but I just couldn't make myself do it, I could only walk. I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone on the street but at the same time I did want to tell someone how I felt. I wrote an SMS message to Toni in Skopje because I think he understand when I feel like that.

Finally I did go back to the fountain and he was there. I just said sorry I wasn't feeling well.

AGF said to me yesterday she is not sure how I manage, being alone all the time. I think I am too alone sometimes and I get lost in it.

My uncle read the blog from the last two days and made some comments:
- I should mention the city that I am writing from.
- I shouldn't write at 1am.
- I should keep me emotions in check.
- Because I haven't said much about the adventurous details of what I am doing and what I am working on, he says its not very revealing.
- I should talk more about being Canadian.
- My profile picture is too dark.
- I should not advertise myself as a hippy.
- He was looking here to find out what is "driving me" through Europe
- My cousins are wondering what I do for work.

I have been writing all the posts in the morning, but for the first ones I hadn't changed the timestamp to reflect the correct time in Sofia.

I will add the cities in the tags line and I am not sure yet how or if I will address the rest of the comments. I placed them here in order to keep them organized with the blog. Its e for me to see how people respond.

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