rainbow rabbit : being alone

photo by Hannah Whitaker, 2007

I have been thinking about the concept/status of being alone. Whether everyone has a general sense of being alone or not. And I am not talking about not being near to and interacting with other people.

In regards to this I thought about some relationships with people and how they affected my idea of my personal position. I think in fact they have not affected it, but only have in smaller or bigger ways created illusions around it.

i'm just going to write in general terms, maybe a bit boring, but I don't want to start naming names and details and bla bla.

I have one relationship for example that consists of seeing someone, on occasion and in those moments, being close to them, but a sense of being separate and independent is actually always there. I don't see any of this as a bad thing. The relationship is great and stable and somehow the fact that a reality of being alone always stays in sight makes the whole thing very real feeling and solid.

Another recent relationship was different from this. In knowing this person I somehow had a sense of not being alone on the planet, even if it was just for a short time or for a few short moments. But I don't know how to view this, as it now seems maybe like it was just an illusion that was created, covering the bigger reality of being essentially independent and alone.

Its important to note that I don't see "loneliness" or states of "being alone" as negative. People ask me about this a lot since I travel. In some moments its less fun, frustrating or boring to be on my own, but in just as many moments its great. So like most states of being, its pretty balanced overall and just a state, so I can't see it as a bad thing, or an especially good thing.

I drew no conclusions here... I thought maybe I was going to... maybe later.

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